Note: Thank you to NetGalley, Post Hill Press, and author Brittany Penner for the advanced reader copy of this book. This review will also be posted on NetGalley. What follows is my unbiased review of the book.

While I knew about babies being taken from Native Americans in the earlier part of the 20th century, I did not know how pervasive the practice was across not just the United States, but Canada too. Instead of respecting cultural differences, the idea was to have them raised by white Christian families so they would assimilate better into our culture. It was a time people still thought of babies as a “blank slate,” and taking them away from their heritage wasn’t seen as impactful.

Brittany Penner was adopted into a Mennonite family where it was a common thing to be adopted. As an infant, she was immersed in Mennonite culture, but she knew that a part of her was somewhere else. Many of the other children in the family were also of Native descent like her, so she did have some idea that there were cultural differences out there, but she still felt incomplete.

Children Like Us details what life was like growing up for Brittany. Although she was adopted into a family filled with love, there were still problems. Some of them I can recognize as typical for adoptees, since I am one too. It’s hard to find a sense of belonging in a family where you don’t look like anyone else, even when love abounds. Add in the prejudice against Native Americans, and it makes it harder. Brittany is hit again and again with the attitude that she should have gratitude to her parents for taking her in, like she is somehow damaged goods. Let me tell you, that does wonders for your self-image.

Penner’s parents came from a family where people were often involved in foster care as foster parents. For her, this ended up being very difficult as she was always afraid she would leave her parents as they did. This resonates as a close friend of mine has a daughter the family adopted and was fostering too when she became worried her daughter would think as Penner did. So much of what Penner talks about in Children Like Us resonates like that within the adoption community.

One thing Brittany experienced that was kind of shocking was the sexual abuse at the hands of people in her church and community. She doesn’t get graphic about it, and I imagine even the bit she did talk about was difficult for her. Yet, she never told anyone until she confessed it to her husband later in life. Somehow, she was made to feel like it was her fault and she should feel ashamed. I don’t know what in society or her upbringing caused her to not confide in one of the adults in her life, although I’m not sure she would have been believed regardless.

Even as an adult, Brittany searches for connections. When she is old enough to search, she is given information that reconnects her with her birthmother. Throughout the reunion, she must be conscious of how her mother who raised her is feeling. I know that feeling all too well. It’s hard to explore your own search for identity when you must walk on eggshells to consider everyone else’s feelings.

Penner does a great job with Children Like Us. There’s a lot of time spent on what she was thinking and feeling at different times in her life. It’s not just what is tangible that she lets us experience with her, but what is intangible as well. I felt seen while reading the book, even without the Native American background.