Note: Thank you to NetGalley, Skyhorse Publishing, and author Gail Lukasik for the advanced reader copy of this book. This review will also be posted on NetGalley. What follows is my unbiased review of the book.

Being adopted, I had to take at face value what I was told about my origins until I was old enough to ask questions for myself. Even having met my birthmother, there were still a few surprises when I finally submitted my DNA for testing. I was always told I was German and Irish growing up. Turns out I’m mostly “Eastern European” (which includes Germany), Irish, a slice of Scandanavian, and 12% Ashkenazi Jewish. That was a huge surprise. From what I’ve been able to interpret, I likely had a great-grandparent on my father’s side who was Jewish.

These commercial DNA tests have uncovered many family secrets and hidden identities. In the book What They Never Told Us, Gail Lukasik tells the story of a number of people who have had their identities upended thanks to DNA testing. In some cases, it helped answer questions they had for most of their lives. In others, the results came as a complete shock.

Lukasik herself found out later in life that her racial origins weren’t what she knew, which was detailed in her first book, White Like Her. Part of that story is here as well, with people who were raised white, only to found out they have African-American ancestry. This happened quite a bit due to the racism in this country, just ask Thomas Jefferson’s descendants. In one case, a woman adopted by an African-American family found out that shehad no African ancestry!

When asked, Lukasik protects the identities of those she interviewed. This was important when she deals with the case of 49 (and counting) half-siblings who were conceived with the use of the same sperm donor. The case is very unique, since it was a legitimate sperm donor used quite often in one area. One of those interviewed said they attended high school with one of their half-siblings who was a year ahead of them. They never dated, thankfully, but they were acquainted.

The discussion of what impact these discoveries has on identity is interesting. I learned a lot about the impact of being adopted on identity back in the 1990s and a lot of the disconnect started to make sense to me. That happens here as well, where people knew things were “off” in their families but once the DNA was tested it started making sense. I wasn’t aware that donor sperm were used as early as it was. I thought that was something that began in the 1980s with the first “test tube baby” but unfrozen sperm were used to artificially inseminate women much earlier than that. Doctors often would mix the sperm with the husband’s sperm so there was an idea that he could possibly still be the father, even with a low sperm count. It was thought that this would help him accept the child.

The point is made that the people who make the decision to do this don’t think about the impact on the children that are produced. In many cases, there are health concerns that were unknown to these people. They believed their family health history had to do with the parents who raised them, not knowing that there were more questions there until a DNA test was taken.

I wish a book like What They Never Told Us was around when I was struggling with my identity. My parents loved me, but they didn’t understand the value of being able to look around a room and see people who look like me. It’s something people take for granted. I can remember trying to tell my mother how it felt to be in a room with people who talked about who looked like who and I looked like no one. My mother dismissed this as “not a big deal.” I think reading about other people having this experience as well would have helped her maybe have a better understanding of why it is a big deal.

What They Never Told Us is a well-written look at the consequences of family secrets in light of the advent of commercial DNA testing as well as the fallout that these secrets have. It has the potential to open many eyes in regard to what it’s like to not know the truth of your origins. Lukasik frames the cases very well, providing context and referencing organizations that are out there to help people who find themselves surprised by their DNA results.