Note: Thank you to NetGalley, She Writes Press, and author Zelly Ruskin for the advanced reader copy of this book. This review will also be posted on NetGalley. What follows is my unbiased review of the book.

As an adoptee as well as being involved in adoption communities on the internet for over 30 years, the premise of this book was intriguing to me. What happens when an adoption counselor finds herself suffering through her own infertility issues? There’s much more to this story than that, and much of it is good. There’s also a degree of ignorance on the part of how being adopted can effect the people in the triad (birthparents-adoptee-adoptive parents). It came as no surprise to learn the author, Zelly Ruskin, is a former social worker and adoption consultant. She’s been involved in adoption as an observer, not as a participant.

Billie Campbell is the adoption consultant in this story, set in Boston. She and her husband, Tyler, have been trying to start a family with no success. When Madison, a pregnant college student, and her boyfriend visit the agency Billie works for with the intention of placing their baby for adoption, Billie starts thinking about the possibility of adopting Madison’s baby herself, despite all of the ethical issues this would raise.

Tyler is a successful lawyer, and he is about to become a partner at his law firm. Between the infertility issues and the anonymous messages he has begun receiving, he’s a bit distracted from his work. He’s also having doubts about whether he really does want to be a father.

Anne is a troubled woman who lives on the edge of poverty. Her father abused her, and when she was fourteen, she surrendered a child to adoption. There was no counseling following these events and she’s been forced to try to make her way in life pretty much on her own. She’s had a hard time keeping a job and is distanced from her mother who now lives in Arizona. When she gets a glimpse on television of the man she believes fathered the child she surrendered, her mental state deteriorates, and she begins stalking him.

The best part of Not Yours to Keep was how it depicted Anne’s mental state due to her abuse and surrendering a child. My birthmother was told to “pretend the baby died” and forget about it, but who can forget they gave birth? The time Anne surrendered was a bit later than my mother’s and I would have thought that by then there would have been better counseling options available. This is especially true as she shows signs almost immediately of not coping with the loss well. However, it’s ignored by the two women who care for her and basically tell her to “get over it.” They don’t realize the depth to which that loss can be felt. Spotting the putative father on television sets off a chain of events as she becomes delusional. I found this to be very believable.

Billie and Tyler are supposed to be the couple readers are rooting for, but I had a hard time liking them. Their marriage is sorely lacking in communication as the two of them seem to be lacking communication skills. Billie’s mother apparently took DES when she was pregnant with her, which is what her infertility issues are blamed on. I had friends growing up whose mother did that and they all had children, it was just a case of having to stay in bed for the bulk of the pregnancies. It seemed a little convoluted that after two miscarriages Billie is giving up on the idea of giving birth and thinks she is more deserving of a child than other people she counsels, although this attitude is present in many prospective adoptive parents I’ve encountered. Whether it be wealth or social status, they seem to think they are entitled to someone else’s child.

I had trouble with Madison as well. She’s an adoptee who is now pregnant and thinks her life was so great she needs to give up her child now. That’s not what usually happens. Adoptees long for a biological connection and do often become pregnant out of wedlock. Back in the day, it would have been typical for them to surrender the child when societal pressures dictated it. Since the 1980s there has been less pressure to do this. I have a hard time believing that Madison would have willingly severed this connection to her one biological connection to the world.

The promotional blurb is that “Their lives become entangled when the client’s newborn is abducted, and Billie becomes a prime suspect.” This didn’t happen until nearly three-quarters of the way through Not Yours to Keep, and was really a short part of the story. Most of it was a slow burn leading up to this point. Billie was not really a suspect for long, despite all of her missteps in this adoption case.

The ending was a bit too “happily ever after” for me, but it wasn’t a bad one. It gives the reader a hopeful note of how everything ends. I felt like the situation was a bit contrived and forced, but it works for the story and for people who need a happy ending. I had reservations about using adoption as a plot point, and the story can feel a bit melodramatic when it tries to paint the situation in the best light for all involved, never mind the impact on the potential child at the center of it all. No one once asks what is in her best interest, and that is the biggest problem I could see.