Note: Thank you to NetGalley, Moss Media Group, and Janet Sherlund for the advanced reader copy of the book. This review will also be posted on NetGalley. What follows is my unbiased review of the book.

If you begin reading the memoirs posted by adoptees, you’ll begin to see the common theme that runs through them of not feeling whole, even if they are raised in families that love them and want them very much. In the case of adoptees, you’ll begin to see that love does not erase the need to know one’s connections on this earth.

Janet Sherlund was born in 1954, during the “baby scoop” era when many single girls who became pregnant were given little choice but to surrender their child for adoption. Sherlund was unique in that she grew up with three siblings, all of whom were adopted. Most of the time, adoptees are only children or have one brother or sister. Even with that common thread in the family, it seems like her mother, in particular, was not equipped to handle the issues that surround adoptees. There were also several times Sherlund recalls her mother saying things that hurt her terribly. However, it was her mother who prompted the family to adopt. Sherlund’s father was reluctant, but it seems like, in the end, he was the one who loved his children unconditionally.

I have to say I could really relate to the feelings Sherlund describes in Abandoned at Birth. My mother did not treat me any differently than she would have her own child, but there were still issues surrounding being adopted that neither of us knew were there. Sherlund wanted to find a connection on this earth to someone, and it is hard for people to understand that who are surrounded by those that they share blood with. Sherlund loved her brothers and sister, but it is not the same.

When Sherlund decided to search in earnest, she sent a letter to the adoption agency she was placed through and was lucky enough to find out they were facilitating reunions between adoptees and their birthparents. Unfortunately, Sherlund’s birthmother never answered the inquiries sent to her by the agency. It was only much later that she managed to find her birthfather, who never even knew she existed. He embraced her warmly, as did his children. Her birthmother remained an enigma, however. Eventually, one of the social workers at the agency prodded Sherlund that contacting her siblings on her mother’s side was an option. It is through this that she eventually met her birthmother.

In many of the adoption communities online, there is a theme of people who want to end adoption. I know of many adoptees who were placed in homes that were abusive. At the time, the main qualification to adopt seemed to be income. Sherlund’s book shows us that there will always be a need for adoption as there will always be people who can’t or won’t be a parent. It is after Sherlund meets her siblings on her birthmother’s side that she realizes she grew up in a home that was much better than theirs, even if there were issues. Her siblings seemed to be of a mind that surrendering a child to adoption might have been what had hurt their mother so much and a reunion might soften her. That did not happen. Although the siblings seemed intent on helping both Sherlund and their mother, it became apparent to Sherlund that the woman was just going through the motions.

Abandoned at Birth is a great story of the need to know where one comes from and how that relates to our place in the world. It’s also a story that shows not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Yes, there were plenty of babies during this time when women were forced to give up their children, but there were also plenty who didn’t want to be a parent. I cried with Sherlund many times throughout the book as I could feel what she was going through. It tugs at the heartstrings as well as shows why adoption that is open and honest is in the best interests of the child being adopted.