Part 3 – Anxiety

Trev sat in the Shuttle Bay of the Orion, waiting for the shuttle that would bring him to the Galactica, and his new life. He was nervous, extremely nervous. Any time he heard the least little noise he felt like jumping out of his skin.

All the belongings he and Lira had were packed in one small bag. There were only a few small toys and his some of their clothes. He would receive new maintenance uniforms once on the Galactica. The little girl was toddling around the waiting area, exploring every corner possible. Every now and then, she would glance over his way, just to make sure he was still there.

Once he had found out that she would be considered an orphan and sent to the Orphan’s Ship if anything should happen to him, his decision to go to the Galactica was easy. Here, on the Orion, he had felt safe, protected. If he turned down this transfer, it would draw attention to him, perhaps even instigate an investigation into his background…

No, it was much easier just to go along with the flow. He was almost positive that any people who may know him on the Galactica had last seen him about six yahrens ago. He could deny his identity easily. He had let his hair grow out since leaving his home planet. Now it hung in dark waves to his shoulders. When he worked, it was necessary to keep it tied back, but it made him look less like the person he had been once upon a time. He was taller than his father, and much leaner. Most of the time now when he looked in the mirror for any signs of a resemblance, he couldn’t find it so easily. Hopefully, the people on the Galactica who might know him would only remember the young boy and not recognize the man he had grown into. Lira… she was all that mattered now. Her life on the Galactica would be much better.

The thought of being on the Galactica still made him nervous. Throughout the last two days, he had thought often of going back into Odan’s office and telling him that he had changed his mind. Then, he would think about the repercussions of that decision. No matter what he did, he was not convinced of either of his choices.

‘Why not chance it?’ he had thought when Odan had spoken to him. ‘Staying here may not prove to be safe, either. At least this way, she stands a chance at having a good start in life…’

The IFB was broadcasting Lieutenant Starbuck’s trial on a monitor in the shuttle boarding area. It appeared, at the micron, that he was going to be convicted of Ortega’s murder. This was virtually the only topic of conversation anywhere in the fleet, though Trev himself hadn’t been paying much attention to it. He had spent most of the last two days making sure he had a straight story should he be questioned.

“Galactica shuttle arriving. Please let any passengers disembark before beginning to board the shuttle. Thank you.”

At the announcement, Trev picked up the small bag of belongings, then walked over to where Lira had taken a keen interest in a potted Pfuster plant. The girl protested somewhat at being taken away from her newest “toy”, but smiled at Trev when he looked her in the eyes.

“My Trev,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly feeling very emotional, “your Trev.”

She put her tiny hands on his cheeks and rubbed her nose against his, as he had taught her, then giggled.

There were only two passengers from the Galactica to the Orion. Trev and Lira were the only two leaving, and he had to show his transfer order before they would let him board.

“Is it always this quiet?” he asked the security officer who was reviewing his paperwork.

“Not usually. Everyone’s watching the trial.”

“Oh. I guess in all of the excitement the last few days, I didn’t realize what a big deal it had become.”

“Lieutenant Starbuck was… is… was… a legend on the Galactica. He was… is… a real hero to a lot of people. You’ll see when you’re there just how revered the warriors are, especially Starbuck, Apollo and Boomer, though Starbuck may be on the Prison Barge soon.”

Inadvertently, Trev winced at the mention of the Prison Barge. He looked at the security officer quickly, but he was concentrating on Trev’s paperwork and hadn’t been looking at him.

“Everything seems to be in order. Come aboard.”

Trev boarded the shuttle and strapped Lira in. The shuttle launched on schedule for the Galactica. He thought of the last time he had been in a shuttle, on his way to the Orion from Pisceria when Ortega had let him aboard so easily. Lira had been against him in his lap, not in her own seat like now.

Ortega was dead, now. Trev wondered why the coincidence was bothering him so much. He hadn’t known the man personally, just seen him on the shuttle when he entered and left. Even through that whole trip, he had been out of sight due to the number of people standing; normally considered to be a very dangerous thing.

And Starbuck… Well, he had heard of him – everyone in the fleet had heard of him – but he never knew him personally. Neither one of these men were in any way associated with his father that he could remember.

Once the orders had come through, he had gotten Odan’s permission to use his computer terminal on the pretense of looking for anyone else from his family or of his friends that may have survived. Trusting him implicitly, Odan left him alone to comb through the census files.

His real aim was to check out all of the names he could remember of his family’s friends and relatives, and his father’s business and political associates. He also checked on any workers, either for his family or his father’s business, whose names he could recall.

“The devastation on Pisceria must have been enormous,” he had mumbled to himself as he plodded through the list he had come up with. There were only five names of people that matched. All five of the matches were people who were questionable. Most hadn’t seen him for any length of time. Three had been co-workers in his father’s business. All were on civilian ships in other parts of the fleet. One of the other matches was of someone who had been an advisor to Baltar,
and was now an advisor to one of the Councillors.

“How did he manage to pull that off?” Trev murmured to himself. He would have thought that previously working for Baltar would be a mark against you for the rest of your life.

The last name was a woman who had been a friend of his mother. He could remember going to her house when he was little and eating the sweet mini-cakes she always had for him. How his mother would laugh when she was with her!

His eyes smarted with tears. She, too, was on a civilian ship. It would have been nice to go see her and tell her about the good memories he had. Right now, though, she posed no threat. He hadn’t been to her house in ages.

Trev was brought back to the current time when he realized Lira had grown restless. It was supposed to be only a ten centon trip, but it seemed to take longer.

“We have to wait for clearance,” one of the co-pilots yelled back to him.

Trev unbuckled his restraint and went to talk to them. “What’s the problem?”

“They’re not giving us clearance. All traffic is being held up… Something to do with the trial and a high security matter.”

“Did the verdict come in?”

The woman shook her head. “I don’t think so. And I think they’d hold Starbuck in the brig on the Galactica for as long as they could before he’d go to the Prison Barge. No, it’s something else… but I have no idea what’s going on. As soon as we have clearance, I’ll let you know.”

Trev sat back down and waited, a feeling of trepidation washing over him.

Baltar stood in the landing bay besides Karibdis while Captain Apollo conferred with the Fleet Security Officers that were on duty. Both of them had restraints on, not that there was anywhere for them to go.

“So what ever possessed you to draw me into all of this?” Baltar asked innocently.

“Right,” Karibdis said, disbelievingly.

“Well you’re the one that has been thinking about me lately, haven’t you? If you had just left well enough alone, you could have had a nice life, you know.”

“Look who’s talking, traitor. And no, I haven’t been thinking about you, at all except when necessary, like now.”

“Well someone around this fleet is, that’s for certain. Have you seen anyone else we used to deal with?”

“No. It’s not me, Baltar. I could care less if you floated off in the prison barge with the rest of the scow.”

The contempt in Karibdis’ voice led Baltar to believe he was telling the truth. Who else that possibly knew him was in the Fleet?

Captain Apollo walked over to the two men. “You’re both being taken over to the Prison Barge as soon as possible. A lot of traffic was delayed while I was bringing the shuttle in, so they have to wait for it to clear up before you’ll return there.”

“What about medical attention?” Karibdis complained.

“You don’t need medical attention,” Apollo reassured him.

“He shot me!”

“It’s only a flesh wound. Get it treated back on the Prison Barge,” Apollo responded, not tolerating any excuses to remain out of prison any longer from this man.

“Awww. You’re not taking us back, Captain Apollo? I’m hurt,” Baltar pouted.

“Don’t try anything, either one of you, but especially you Baltar. I don’t know what’s prevented the Council from ordering your execution up until now, but I guarantee that it wouldn’t take too much for them to change their minds.”

Baltar opened his moth to say something, then thought the better of it and stayed silent.

“Good. I trust that Fleet Security will be able to handle the two of you. I am going to see Starbuck.”

“Give him my warmest regards… any time I can help…” Baltar called after him. Apollo just kept on walking, shaking his head.

Shuttles that had been delayed were landing all around them. The people that were walking by gazed curiously at the two men surrounded by Fleet Security Officers. Most of the stares were reserved for Baltar, which he answered with a wide smile and a friendly wave of his hand.

“Knock it off,” one of the security officers scolded him.

“What? I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Just stand there, shut up, and don’t move!”

Looking innocent, Baltar stood in his shackles, watching the people go by him. He watched them getting on the lift, and another man got off; one of the Galactica’s crew, he thought. The man walked over to one of the shuttles and met someone who was walking out of it. Whoever the other person was, he or she was carrying a child and Baltar couldn’t get a good look at the face.

He glanced away for a micron to the fleet security that was standing nearby, joking. When he looked back, the person holding the child was looking directly at him. A sly smile crept onto Baltar’s face before he could help himself, though his son looked away very quickly.

Trev walked to the shuttle hatch and was met by one of the Galactica crew.

“Hi. I’m Langley. Are you Trev?”

“Yes,” Trev said. He handed the transfer papers to the man, then picked Lira up in his arms. “What’s all of the commotion about?”

“Oh, this? It seems that Lieutenant Starbuck was innocent. Captain Apollo had to bring Baltar here, though, to prove it.”

“Baltar? Baltar’s here?” Alarmed, Trev looked around. At the same micron he sighted his father, Baltar turned his head from whatever else he had been looking at and their eyes met.

It was only for a few microns that they were actually looking at each other, but Trev knew it was enough. He saw the look of recognition in his father’s face. He turned away from him, and followed Langley to the service lift, resisting the urge to see if his father was still staring at him, which he was certain he was.

“You’ll be bunking with the rest of the maintenance crew. There aren’t enough private quarters to go around, and the warriors usually get first crack at them anyway. From your paperwork, though, it says that you had the same situation on the Orion.”

“Yes. I bunked with the maintenance crew there while Lira stayed in the Childcare Center.” Trev didn’t know how he managed to answer the man. His mind was reeling. He noticed that his hands had begun to shake. If he put Lira down, it would only be more noticeable, so he held onto her.

“I’ll take you by the Maintenance Quarters first. You can drop your things there, then we’ll go over to Childcare and you can spend time there. You’re not scheduled for any training for a cycle, so you’ve got some time to adjust and learn your way around. Just don’t venture out of the habitation area. You don’t have clearance for the bridge and a couple of other areas, so if you accidentally ended up there, it could be a problem.”

Trev was barely hearing what Langley was telling him as they walked through the corridors. They entered the vast room of bunks where the Galactica’s maintenance crew slept. Several people who were off-shift were sleeping, so Langley quietly led Trev to his bunk and showed him his locker. Trev put the little bit of clothes he had for himself in there.

He showed him the Maintenance Crew Lounge, the Rejuvenation Center and the Mess Hall. The Lounge was strictly for the maintenance workers, but the other two were shared by everyone on the Galactica. Trev had never been on a battlestar before, and had he been in his right mind, he would have been impressed.

The Childcare Center was a short walk from the Mess Hall. Inside, he saw about a dozen children from about four yahrens and younger playing. “The rest of the children have instructional period now,” Langley explained. “You should see this place when they get here!”

“I can imagine.” Trev did not want to make small talk now. He wanted to get Lira settled, so he could find somewhere to go and think.

“Hello, I’m Marily.”

“Hi. I’m Trev, and this is Lira.”

“Lira! We’ve been expecting you!”

Langley patted him on the back. “Think you can find your way back all right?”

“I think so.”

“If you can’t, just ask. Someone will help you. I’ll see you later.”

“Thanks.”

Trev put Lira down, but she wouldn’t leave his side. Instead, she held tightly onto his legs and buried her face.

“Don’t you want to play with the other children?” Marily tried to coax her. Lira clung to Trev all the harder. “Maybe if you stayed a little while.”

“Sure,” he said as he took Lira’s hand and led her over near the other kids. He sat down on the floor, picked up a toy and started playing with her. She was intrigued by all of the new things to play with around her. After a while, another little girl came over. Trev rolled a ball back and forth between the three of them.

Marily motioned for him to get up. Lira watched him, but did not go running to him when he walked over to the young woman.

“She’ll probably be fine now. Would you like to leave her for a few centars, then come back for meal period?”

“Meal period?”

“Well, we permit the parents – or guardians – to take the children with them for meal period. The only condition is that the children leave before the remaining children are served. Once we serve the meal here, they’re not permitted to leave.”

“Oh. On the Orion, the children had to stay in the Childcare Center for their meals.”

“We try to be a little flexible. Some parents really enjoy sitting down with their children for a meal together. It would be a good time for you to check on her. Come back in about three centars, if you want to.”

Trev looked back at Lira once before he left the Childcare Center. She was playing happily with another little girl. “You don’t know how lucky you are… Not a care in the universe…”

When he had returned to the Lounge after leaving Lira at the childcare center, he had sat down to watch the IFB for the news about the trial and how his father had been involved. He folded his arms across his chest, trying to hide the tremors that had come on with a vengeance.

Karibdis! That was a name Trev knew, and was someone who would surely recognize him. He had most likely been in the Landing Bay with his father when Trev had walked through, since the IFB was now reporting that he was being transported back to the Prison Barge with Baltar. What if he had seen him? At this point, Karibdis would probably do anything to lessen his sentence for murder, and turning in the son of the greatest traitor mankind had ever known would surely result in that. The fact that Trev had concealed his identity only enhanced his own guilt.

After the broadcast, he went into the turbowash and stood for a long time under the warmth, trying to think clearly, and hoping that his hands would cease their tremors. Not for the first time, he was seriously considering making a trip to the Life Center for something to calm himself down.

‘Won’t that just draw attention to yourself?’ he thought. ‘It could lead to questions… Questions I don’t have good answers for. So many other people are living with the horrors of the Destruction and getting on with their lives. What makes my horror so terrible still, after all of these sectars?’

One word: Baltar.

For several centons, he actually entertained the idea of simply going to Commander Adama and coming clean. It would be over, and the cubits could fall as they pleased. He remembered the dream, and how Lira would be taken from him once the truth was know. That little girl was the only thing that was sustaining him; motivating him. Losing her would be worse than learning of his father’s treachery.

He needed to get his mind off of everything, that he was sure of. According to Langley, he still had an entire cycle until he was scheduled for any training on the Galactica. His work had usually given him the most distraction from his own terrible thoughts.

New maintenance uniforms hung in his locker. Trev donned one, and began wandering the Galactica, in search of a place of solitude where he could gather his thoughts by himself. As he wandered though the various areas, he tried to recall the plans that he had been studying on the Orion before his transfer here.

There would be quite a bit of work here on the Galactica, he thought to himself. He had wandered into one of the thruster compartments. The place was huge and cavernous compared to the Orion. The din was incredible, too. The constant roar of the thrusters made earguards necessary on every maintenance worker he saw.

Trev got on a nearby turbolift and rode up a level to where he could look down on all of the activity. He found earguards hanging on the wall and put it on, now lost in his own quiet world. He hadn’t noticed, but once comfortable in his solitude, and his own thoughts distracted by observing the activity in the room, his tremors had ceased.

After standing there for nearly a centar, he turned to put the earguards back where he had found it. As he turned, he saw a figure go by in the hallway behind him. Trev looked out quickly and saw a dark-haired warrior walking down the hall to a door. The warrior donned his own earguards before opening the door and stepping through.

Curious, Trev took the earguards with him and followed the warrior to the door. He did the same as the warrior had done, donning the earguards before opening the door and stepping through. Even with the earguards on, the cacophony that greeted him when he opened the door and stepped through was incredible. The roar seemed deafening even with the protection.

There was no one in sight, and no apparent exit from the room, except for a ladder. For a few microns, Trev debated what he should do. He could not remember this on the plans for the Galactica that he had studied, trying to get himself oriented. Finally, his curiosity was getting the better of him. He walked over to the ladder.

Looking up, he saw the ladder end at a hatch. Slowly, Trev climbed the ladder. The hatch was heavy, but when he pushed on it, it gave easily. He pushed it up a little bit and looked in. Around him was some sort of a room. Not sure what it was, he pushed the hatch a little bit more and was surprised when he felt it pulled out of his hand.

The dark-haired warrior he had followed stood there holding the hatch. His earguards were now around his neck, and he motioned for Trev to come up. Trev climbed the rest of the way in, and the warrior closed the hatch.

“The silence is deafening, isn’t it?” the warrior commented.

Trev slipped his earguards around his neck. Though not quite silent, the roar was greatly subdued. “Where is this place?”

“Above the main thrusters. You followed me here?”

“I… uh… sort of. I was watching all the activity in the Main Thruster Compartment, and I saw you go by. I didn’t know there was anything like this around here.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet. Just hold on a micron.” The warrior scrambled up into a chair that was on a platform above the two of them. Trev followed him and watched as he flipped several switches, lighting up a console in front of the chair. Trev heard a whirring and then the sides of the room seemed to peel away from them.

“What the frack…”

“Pretty incredible, isn’t it? This was what they used to use to navigate by the stars. It’s the highest spot on the Galactica.”

Trev looked around him and couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. In all of his luxurious travels with his father, there had never been anything quite like this.

“This place is incredible!”

“And now that you know my secret, I’d appreciate it if you would keep it to yourself.”

Trev intently looked at the warrior. There was something familiar about him… yet, he couldn’t place it.

“Believe me, I’m really good at keeping secrets,” Trev murmured. “But why?”

The warrior shrugged his shoulders. “I like to come up here to think… to get away from everyone sometimes. I don’t think that more than two or three people on the Galactica know that this place exists. No one’s probably been up here for five hundred yahrens or more. I’d like to keep it private, if you know what I mean.”

Trev smiled over the warrior’s shoulder as the seat spun around with him holding on the back of it. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul. You just may find me here more often, if it’s all right with you.”

The warrior shrugged. “I don’t own it. You’re as welcome as anyone to come here.”

“Just don’t invite more company.”

The warrior smiled. “If you want solitude, that’s what you have to do. My name’s Apollo, by the way.”

Trev was stunned. “Apollo? As in Captain Apollo?”

“The one and only. I see you’ve heard of me.”

“Well, sure… That is, I… Why aren’t you at the celebration that’s going on for Lieutenant Starbuck? You just saved his astrum.”

Apollo smiled sheepishly. “I was there, for a while. Like I said before, I like the solitude I get here. It’s a great place to just get away from everyone. You are…?”

“Trev. I just transferred to the Galactica maintenance crew from the Orion.”

“Pleased to meet you Trev.” Apollo lifted his hand over his shoulder to shake the young maintenance worker’s hand.

‘Great,’ Trev thought to himself. ‘The first real friend I make in this whole fleet and it has to be Commander Adama’s son.’

The two of them stayed there for a long time in silence. Trev sat on the edge of the platform, looking out at the stars. He imagined what the old explorers must have felt like as they traveled the galaxy without the modern equipment. He looked at the other ships of the Fleet; their battle scars and scorch marks highlighting the Cylon raids that had come all too often in the beginning of their quest.

Apollo had his usual thoughts of his lost wife, mother, and brother as he stared at the stars. His thoughts then turned to the young worker, who seemed too much like himself. What guilt, what sorrow haunted the soul of someone so young? Just as Apollo did not want to talk of Serina, Zac or his mother, he supposed this young man did not want to talk of his troubles either. The two of them simply sat in silence, watching the stars go by. Occasionally, a shuttle would fly between ships.

“Can they see us up here?” Trev asked.

“Well they could, but I doubt if they do. They’re just not looking for anyone to be here.”

Silently, Trev wondered if there were viewports in the Prison Barge.

Apollo let out a sigh. “Well, I’m going to go back for meal period. If you want…”

“Meal period? Oh frack!”

“What’s wrong.”

“I was supposed to pick Lira up from the Childcare Center for meal period!” Trev exclaimed.

“Lira? You have a daughter?” Apollo was surprised. He seemed too young.

“No… well… See, she was my best friend’s sister and after the Destruction, I…” Trev trailed off.

Apollo could see the man was visibly upset. ‘I suppose we all have our own demons,’ he thought to himself. “Hey, I didn’t mean to pry. You should still have half a centar before it’s too late to pick her up.”

“Thanks. And thanks for showing me this place Captain Apollo.”

“Just Apollo.”

Trev smiled timidly. He put on the earguards, opened the hatch and began descending the ladder as Apollo closed up the dome.

Trev had waited and waited over the next few days. Every time Fleet Security or a warrior had approached, he was sure they were coming for him. His training had begun the following cycle. Most of it was just a review of what he already had learned aboard the Orion, just on a much larger scale.

“The really good techs go on to work on the bridge or the weapons systems,” Langley explained as they toured the various sections Trev would be making repairs in. “That used to require a high security clearance.”

“Used to?”

Langley shrugged his shoulders. “They can’t be as particular now, for one thing. Also, the records have been pretty well destroyed. Besides, who is anyone going to give classified information to?”

Trev could see Langley’s point.

“Now, the diagnostic located a problem in the power relays to the Alpha Landing Bay. It’s a pressing problem because if it got bad enough, we could lose power in the whole Landing Bay…”

Trev and Langley worked together at the problem for the next eight centars. Langley had been impressed by the skill and knowledge the young man had demonstrated over the last few cycles, and this day was no exception. Trev did not whine or complain about the amount of time necessary to correct the problem, nor did he ask for a break. Langley had finally said they needed time away from the power relays.

“Aren’t you hungry Trev?”

They young man shrugged his shoulders. “A little. I’m used to staying with a problem until it’s solved. Odan always called on me when he had something tedious on the Orion. He knew I’d stay with it until it was done.”

“Well, you definitely have tenacity, that’s for sure. Come on, we’ll get a bite and come back here afterwards.”

‘I guess if Karibdis was going to say anything, I would have known it by now,’ Trev thought to himself. The tremors had grown less intense and had come on with less frequency with the more time that went on. Now, he was finally feeling like he could possibly relax a little. The only problem was that he knew for certain that his father knew he was here. Still, if nothing had happened yet…

The two of them were seated at a table together in the Mess Hall. Langley was just finishing a story about some warrior who had been burned by the steam purge in a launch tube when he was in there with a woman, when Trev saw two fleet security officers enter the Mess Hall. They scanned the room quickly, and began walking in the direction of him.

Langley saw the expression on Trev’s face darken as if someone had turned off a light. Wondering what was bothering the young man, he turned and saw the security officers making their way over to them.

“What the frack…?”

“Are you Trev?” one of the Officers asked.

Trev nodded, still picking at the biscuit he had been eating.

“You have to come with us.”

“Say, I need him,” Langley protested.

“Orders of The Council, Sir. I’m sorry, but we must insist that you come with us now.”

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